How did I do that!?

Will alphabetizing figure me out?

Will an answer in the air simply appear?

Did I miss something way back when,

and where is the where?

I thought I was paying attention.

I thought I understood.
How is that between then and now,

I find myself, again

with a great big whopping Oopps?


My focus is now on understanding – what I was missing,

and why didn’t I do that understanding first,

before I made the Oopps decision?

When will I stop doing that?

The messing up

The making mistakes

I keep piling up piles of piles of regrets – and it’s humiliating.

At least, I have humiliation.
It’s humbling. It actually feels good.
I can look at this.
It feels solid. And it won’t go away.

It’s telling me something, and I’ll let it. It has something to do. I’ll listen.

It has a way of lightly loosening up, shifting my thinking,

changing my positions, and in subtle ways that are perfectly designed

to fit into my brain and comfortably change its thinking.

It’s like when a tight muscle is rubbed.

In the loosening and relaxing and in the letting go,

it seems to be, it feels like, if I got this right, if I figured this out,

that what I missed out on or lost or did know about,

at the start of every teen & adult mistake I made,

was not to bring along with me

a great companion, an excellent consultant, and a true friend

and what is called Intellectual Humility.

The knowing I know I don’t know everything,

the knowing no one does,

I will promise to work on

pausing, and asking patiently, “What am I missing?”
and humbly asking more questions, and do the methodical research,

and be willing to explore, and still feel unsure of where I am headed,

is far better, safer and more caring to myself and others than tripping my mind blind sided into and falling over and next to the Oopps that are waiting to happen, anywhere, on any side, and in any backed into corner.

©️ July 2025 Much Love, Deb Poems